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 That’s right folks, our Big Xmas Telly
Preview is back for the second year running as we take a trip through a
winter telly land to pick out all the best bits on the box this
Christmas and New Year.
We’ll be looking at the best programmes, we’ll be talking about the best
films, and we’ll be picking up where we left off last year and
continuing our obsession with how many different versions of ‘A
Christmas Carol’ we can find on the telly this year.
Saturday 22nd
After The LINC Christmas party on the Friday night, we’ll no doubt be
recovering with a day snuggling up in front of the telly, though to be
honest, there isn’t a whole lot to keep us entertained.
That said, we have found a few festive treats to keep us happy today.
No doubt every single version of the Dickens classic ‘Christmas Carol’
will be shown over the next few days, but we’ll be sitting down to watch
the animated version (C4: 4.35pm) with the likes of Kate Winslet,
Nicolas Cage and Rhys Ifans providing the voices.
Later, we’ll be watching something called ‘Star Traders: The Christmas
Challenge’ (ITV1: 7.15pm) partly because there’s not much else on, but
mainly because it sounds so awful it has to be seen.
Apparently, grey-haired gopher lover Philip Schofield and Wayne Rooney’s
missus Colleen McLoughlin host a programme which sees ex-Hearsay warbler
Myleene Klass and ice dancing rugby player Kyran Bracken team up to
enlist the help of Simon Cowell, Kelly Osborne and a few others and
‘trade something worthless into something priceless in seven days.’
What’s that phrase about you can’t polish a… ahem, never mind.
Then, after killing time watching such crash course TV, it’s time to
settle down for the highlight of the night, The Hitch Hikers’ Guide
To The Galaxy (BBC2: 9.25pm) which sees Martin Freeman and Zooey Deschanel
hopping aboard the good ship Heart of Gold to traverse the universe with
a runaway intergalactic president and a writer for the eponymous guide
in a long awaited big screen version of Douglas Adams’ masterpiece.
It’s a great film, and if you want to know more about it, you can
read
the review we wrote when the film first hit the cinema.
Also, we’ve found something on Paramount Comedy 1 at silly o clock in
the morning called LINCs. Sadly, unless there’s a hidden camera in our
pot plant, we won’t be starring in it.
Sunday 23rd
If you’re planning a day in front of the TV today, prepare yourself for
a lot of films.
First, there’s the wonderfully sentimental Miracle on 34th Street (ITV1:
2.30pm) with Richard Attenborough as a genuine Kris Kringle who helps a
little girl to believe in Father Christmas. Aww.
Then there’s the obligatory ‘A Christmas Carol’ (Five: 5.25pm), this
time staring a bunch of Muppets (and by that we mean Kermit The Frog et
al, not a group of X-Factor contestants).
Later, it’s our highlight of the day as Captain Nemo, The Invisible Man,
Dr Jekyll and friends team up as The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
(C4: 8pm) to put a halt to the evil Phantom’s plans for a world war.
From one kind of superhero to another, Top Gear presenter Richard
Hammond meets motorcycle daredevil Evel Knievel (BBC2: 9pm). Knievel was
something of a legend in his time and, following his death in November,
Hammond’s documentary serves as a tribute to the late stunt-cyclist.
If you’re still up, flick over to watch the Big Fat Anniversary Quiz
(C4: 10pm) where Frank Skinner, Jack Dee, Alan Carr, David Mitchell and
that brainy woman off Countdown join Jimmy Carr for laughs a plenty.
Christmas Eve
We don’t quite know where our fascination with all the different
versions of ‘A Christmas Carol’ came from, but we do know that we’re
quite chuffed because there’s three of them on today.
Firstly, there’s an ancient version of from 1951 called Scrooge (Five:
4.15pm), then there’s two very different takes on the tale on two
different channels at the same time.
There’s the dramatic version staring ex-Star Trek captain Patrick
Stewart (C4: 7.15pm) or there’s the Blackadder bunch’s own twist as
Rowan Atkinson plays Ebenezer Blackadder, a kind fellow who has to deal
with his horrible relatives (BBC2: 7.15pm)
Elsewhere, there’s Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black
Pearl (BBC1: 8.30pm) with Johnny Depp & Co. heading out across the high
seas, whilst Sky wheel out the same programme they show every year which
sees David Jason as the Hogfather (Sky1: 8pm) in a festive fantasy where
Discworld’s answer to Santa (the eponymous Hogfather) disappears and is
replaced by Death.
Christmas Day
There’s lots of weird and wonderful things from Telly Land on Christmas
Day.
The BBC have a double-whammy of animated adventures in the early
afternoon, starting with Finding Nemo (BBC1: 3.10pm) and ending with
Shrek 2 (BBC1: 4.40pm).
Once that’s done, you’ve got oh, forty five minutes, just enough time to
prepare some more mince pies or have a bash on your new X-Box before
heading back to the Beeb for the Dr Who Christmas Special (BBC1:
6.50pm).
This time, the dynamic doctor finds himself aboard the doomed Titanic
with pert pop princess Kylie Minogue and is forced to do what he does
best: save the day.
And with the universe all in order once more, you’ve got just enough
time to change the channel and check out colossal collard comic Harry
Hill and his Christmas TV Burp (ITV1: 8pm). No doubt Hill will be taking
a look at what’s on over Christmas in much more hilarious fashion than
we’re doing in this preview.
After that, we’d suggest flicking through your Freeview box and whiling
the night away with either Pulp Fiction (BBC3: 9.30pm) or 2 Fast 2
Furious (ITV2: 9.30pm).
And if neither of those tickle your festive fancy, then there’s either a
whole night of David Mitchell and Robert Webb’s hilariously surreal Peep
Show (E4: 9pm ‘til bed time) or a whole night of cult sci-fi comedy
classic Red Dwarf as Rimmer, The Cat and that taxi driver off Coronation
Street encounter all manner of strange intergalactic beasts (Dave: 9pm
‘til well past bed time).
Boxing Day
Boxing Day looks a bit pap to be honest, but let’s have a look and see
if we can find anything worth watching, shall we?
Monsters Inc (BBC1: 5.35pm) is a warm and wonderful film about a big
blue beast, the cutest animated little girl ever and what can only be
described as a one-eyed bogie with legs. We actually reviewed this film
when it was on the telly last Christmas, and you can
see what we said
about it last year here
If you’re still up for more telly, you could always watch Zoe Wannamaker
and Robert Lindsay embarking on another festive fiasco in My Family
(BBC1: 7pm) until a Christmas compilation of that oh so witty and
intelligent quiz show, QI (BBC2: 9pm) come on, featuring unseen clips
from the last series.
Then, for the insomniacs amongst you, there’s a really funny film on
called Galaxy Quest (BBC1: 11.50pm) in which a group of aliens mistake a
naff Sci-Fi show for actual footage of legitimate space warriors and
recruit the cast to lead them in an inter-stellar war.
December 27th, 28th, 29th , 30th
A few of the highlights of the coming days include:
E.T. – The Extra Terrestrial (ITV1: 4.25pm, Thurs 27th). Christmas just
wouldn’t be Christmas without Drew Barrymore et al helping the cute
little space creature to ‘phone home’.
A feature length episode spells the end of the hugely enjoyable Extras
(BBC1: 9pm, Thurs 27th). Ricky Gervais, the fantastically funny Stephen
Merchant and that Scottish one off Ugly Betty return for their swan-song
along with Dr Who’s David Tennant, George Michael, Gordan Ramsey and a
host of other special guests.
On Friday night we’re town between the adaptation of Alan Bennett’s
popular play The History Boys (BBC2: 9pm, Friday 28th) and The Friday
Night Christmas Project (C4: 9pm, Friday 28th) with Davina McCall
joining Justin Lee Collins and Alan Carr for a look back at this year’s
hilarious series.
Meanwhile, the only thing that piques our interest on Saturday night is
Irish illusionist Keith Barry (ITV1: 9pm, Saturday 29th) getting tied up
and chucked in a shed of explosives before trying to escape.
Then, on Sunday, we’ll be watching A Year in the Life of JK Rowling
(ITV1: 7pm, Sunday 30th), as she puts her most famous creation to bed
and closes the final chapter in the Harry Potter novels.
New Years Eve
Looks like we’re having a musical end to 2007. For pop fans, the
recently reunited Spice Girls are Giving You Everything (BBC1: 7pm), as
cameras follow them during the build up to their come-back tour and the
girls talk about why they called it a day in the first place.
Then, after we’ve watched The Big Finish (BBC1: 9.40pm) in which Graham
Norton hosts two teams of celebs who do battle to see who remembers the
most about the past twelve months, we’ll be torn between Jools Holland
and his Annual Hootenanny (BBC2: 11.05pm) and Take That & Guests Live at
the 02 Arena (ITV1: 11.15pm).
On the one hand, Jools has the likes of Kylie, Mika, Kate Nash and the
Kaiser Chiefs. On the other, it is Take That.
New Year’s Day
Right then, New Year’s Day. Sorry folks, but telly doesn’t look all that
great for the start of 2008, though there are a few films to check out
should you be bored enough.
John Goodman and Rick Moranis team up in the big screen version of the
cartoon classic The Flintstones (ITV1: 2.25pm). In an enjoyable piece of
comedy, Barney helps Fred get promoted, only to regret it when Fred
fires Barney!
In Finding Neverland (BBC2: 5.30pm), Johnny Depp plays Peter Pan author
JM Barrie, who gets his inspiration from widowed mum of four, Kate
Winslet.
Then, later, there’s Fantastic Four (C4: 8.10pm), with Jessica Alba, Ioan Gruffudd and Michael Chiklis in an enjoyable, action-packed
comic-book movie.
So yeah, there isn’t loads on the telly worth mentioning this year, or
maybe there is and we just didn’t notice, but either way, there’s still
plenty to keep you entertained over the festive period. For more about
Christmas Telly, check out the link below.
Recommended link:
►
www.whatsontv.co.uk/christmas
►
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