ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
June 28th, 2009,

Some things in life are worth staying up all night and getting no sleep over, and WWE’s The Bash was certainly one of them.

Formally known as The Great American Bash until the Big ‘E decided to drop the US-centric title in favour of appealing to those of us overseas, what could have been nothing more than a stop-gap to Summerslam actually turned into a pretty strong event with some nice surprises, some new champions and a potential Match of the Year Candidate. Oh, and Triple H fought Randy Orton for the nine millionth time. 

Here’s what went down:

Dark Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. R-Truth

In a match shown only for the live crowd, Shelton Benjamin continued a loosing streak that must surely be going on longer than MVP's ever did as R-Truth picked up a win. Now that's what's up.

Your Winner: R-Truth

ECW Championship Scramble Match: Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer (champion)

Despite what you may have read elsewhere, this isn’t a great start to the show. It’s comes off as sloppy, uncoordinated and somewhat rushed.

And whilst I’m willing to admit that the rushed aspect does make some sort of sense given the context of the match (for those not familiar, the match runs to a time limit, anyone can pin anyone within that time to become interim champion, and whoever scores the final pinfall before the bell leaves with the belt), but apart from that there’s nothing much to get excited about here.

Well, expect for the closing minute when, with Tommy Dreamer in the lead, we get a massive pile-on as everyone tries to grab that one last pin. Alas, its to no avail, and as the bell rings in the middle of the fracas, the ECW Original is declared your champion and couldn’t look more happy. Or surprised.

Your Winner and Still ECW Champion: Tommy Dreamer

In the back, Edge is complaining to Smackdown General Manager, Theodore Long, about being missed off the pay per view (and so he should! Every pay per view needs a bit of Edge). The Rated-R Superstar demands the world title match be made a triple threat tonight, since he pinned the number one contender recently and never misses a pay per view when he’s healthy. Teddy doesn’t care, and sends Edge packing.

Intercontinental Championship Mask vs. Title Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho (champion)

It was always pretty much a given that Mysterio and Jericho were going to have a good match tonight, but only the most optimistic of wrestling fans could have predicted it would be this good.

To recap; if Mysterio wins, he gets the belt, if Jericho wins, Mysterio must take off his mask. With that in mind, the two go all-out to top every match they’ve ever had in a thrilling contest that has your writer glued to the telly from start to finish. It’s dramatic, bloody exciting stuff that rollocks its way to a gripping crescendo when Jericho rips the mask off Rey, only to find out the plucky challenger was wearing another one underneath. This distracts your champion long enough to get rocked by Mysterio and loose his belt.

There’s a very slim chance that Punk and Hardy may just be able to top that one but I doubt it, so lets go ahead and award Mysterio & Jericho match of the night honours now shall we?

Your Winner and New Intercontinental Champion: Rey Mysterio

Somewhere between the first three matches (I’ve had a nap since, so I forget where) John Cena and Vince McMahon shill Gillette Razorblades. Just thought I’d mention it.

Going to the back, Jericho demands his rematch tonight. Teddy Long tells him to do one since he’s coming up to five years as a general manager and didn’t get there by giving in to every demand.

Five years? Really Teddy? So Vickie Guerrero never existed?

No Disqualification Match: The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler

If you’re planning to watch the repeat of this show, now’s your chance to nip the loo, grab a drink or, well, do anything else.

Not to take away anything from Ziggler; the man continues to impress week after week and is equally as entertaining tonight, but there’s nothing in the world that could make a match with Khali something you need to see.

Not even the interference of Kane, who comes from nowhere, bashes the Punjabi Playboy with a chair for no reason whatsoever and allows Ziggler to get the three count.

Your Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Back from your loo-break? Good, because there’s a surprise in store now. Remember how the tag title match was supposed to be The Colons defending against Legacy? Yeah, well check this one out instead:
 

Unified Tag Team Championship Match: Chris Jericho & Edge vs. Ted Dibiase & Cody Rhodes vs. Carlito & Primo Colon (champions)

Yes folks, you read that one correctly; Y2J and the Rated-R Superstar worked their way into this one!

Before this one gets underway, Teddy Long shows up again and announces this is going to be a Triple Threat, bringing out everyone’s favourite Canadian bad guys to shake things up a little bit.

Legacy and the Colons are not best pleased and do their best to keep Jericho and Edge out of things but to no avail; Edge gets the spear, we have new tag team champions.

Your Winners and New Tag Team Champions: Chris Jericho and Edge

Whilst your writer is always pleased to see Jericho and Edge, this could actually be bad news for Smackdown given the ‘tag champs can defend on any brand’ rule.

Anyway, more of that later.

In the back, Ted Dibiase moans to Randy Orton, complaining that the Legacy leader doesn’t care about his minions’ loss. No, I wouldn’t either Randy.
 

Women’s Championship Match: Michelle McCool vs. Melina (champion)

It’s always very hard to write about any given Divas match; they’re all much of a muchness and rarely ever border on anything other than average. That said, this really wasn’t that bad.

Short? Yes. One of the weaker matches on the card? Definitely. Then again, I’m all for seeing Melina and McCool over almost any other divas on any brand. McCool is one of the few women in WWE with any distinct personality, whilst Melina is always a creative wrestler. Sadly for the latter, her five month title reigh comes to an end when McCool hits the Styles Cla…sorry, I mean Faith Breaker..to become the first lady to win both the Women’s and Divas championships.

Your Winner and New Champion: Michelle McCool

With the undercard firmly out of the way, it’s time for the gradual build to the main event.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

If WWE had put this one closer to the beginning, I could have gone to bed earlier. Seriously, this and the Intercontinental title match were the only two things your reporter was really looking forward to on this card.

Despite the potential, Punk and Hardy fail to oust Jericho and Mysterio from the Match of the Night podium, but still have a fun match all the same.

As the match progresses, the champion continues to tread the fine-line between beloved babyface and despised villain all the way up to the false finish.

Hardy hits a swanton and gets the cover, the count and the…well, he gets the three count, but Punk’s foot is under the bottom rope, so the match continues.

A Twist of Fate is countered by a GTS attempt, Hardy battles out with an elbow and CM Punk acts like he hurt his eye. The referee shows concern and is rewarded for his efforts with a kick to the head!

The bell rings.

Your Winner by Disqualification: Jeff Hardy

Because of the DQ finish, Punk retains the title and moves one step closer to being a fully-fledged heel. Not surprisingly, Hardy is less than thrilled and accuses Punk of doing it all on purpose. To get his revenge, Jeff beats up Punk all the way to the back.

Speaking of the back, The Colons are there, complaining to poor Teddy Long about the loss of their tag belts. Long did it to save his job and that’s that.
 

John Cena vs. The Miz

There’s a great number of die-hard fans out there who were really hoping The Miz could upset Super Cena and blast his way into the upper echelons of the Raw hierarchy.

Most of those fans are now likely to be very angry indeed and claim that Miz was made to look like a two-bit chump against Mr. HLR.

Whilst they’d be right to be angry (a win in this one could have done more for Miz’s career than it ever could for Cena’s), they’re wrong to claim that the Slammy Award winner was completely buried.

He got in a decent bit of offence and proved himself on a pay per view card before eating the Five Knuckle Nonsense, having his Attitude Adjusted and finally tapping to the STF in a passable contest.

Your Winner: John Cena.

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for; Triple H and Randy Orton have their nine-millionth match:

Three Stages of Hell WWE Championship Match: Triple H vs. Randy Orton (champion)

Three stages of hell? Yeah, it’s a two-out-of-three-falls match with gimmicks. The first is your standard wrestling match, the second is a no-DQ match and the third, should it be needed, is a stretcher match.

In the first, Triple H beats the tar out of Randy Orton with a chair and gets disqualified.

Orton goes one-nil up but after taking such a battering is easily pinned by Trippers.

It’s one-all as we go into the final fall and the stretcher comes out. As do Legacy, and Triple H’s sledgehammer.

Orton, Rhodes and Dibiase are no match for Triple H and his hammer, although a swift boot the goolies and an attack with a part of the stage helps Orton place the champion on the stretcher and pull him over the line to retain the title.

Your Winner and Still WWE Champion: Randy Orton

Final Thoughts: Please God, let the HHH/Orton feud be over! It’s been going on for years and there’s surely nothing else these two can do together. That said, WWE’s tour of the UK in November is being branded as the ‘DX Invasion’ Tour, so I wouldn’t be all that surprised to see HHH/HBK taking on Rhodes and Dibiase for the next six months.

Anyway, back to the pay per view. Jericho and Mysterio absolutely stole the show and once again showed why Smackdown is a million miles better than its Monday night counterpart. As for Edge and Jericho winning the tag belts? It was a great, for the moment, but then the sudden realisation sets in that the whole thing is just a ploy to get arguably the two most talented performers in the company back on Monday nights. Since the tag champs can go on any brand at any time, Raw’s depleted talent pool has been given a massive boost from this, but hopefully it won’t be to Smackdown’s detriment.

Predictions for Night of Champions Card:

CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy – NO DQ
Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. Triple H
Jericho/Edge vs. Hart Dynasty vs. Colons vs. Legacy
Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz
Rey Mysterio vs. John Morrison
Michelle McCool vs. Gail Kim
Maryse vs. Mickie James
By Jack Conner


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