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MEN Arena, Manchester
Saturday February 18th 2006
 We are 20,000 strong. Packed together and sweating with anticipation, a
lanky, long-haired lad from Lowestoft parades some ten, fifteen feet
above our heads in what can only be described as a giant bath-tub turned
into a certain part of the female anatomy. If ever there was a lasting,
iconic image of tonight’s show; just one small visual that would serve
as the epitome of tonight’s lavish, rock ‘n’ roll indulgence and
absurdity, this, my friends, would be it.
Rewind an hour or two, and you’ll find Swedish glam-punks The Ark
setting the precedent for the level of ridiculous extravagance on
display tonight. Baring more than a slight resemblance to that berk from
The Rasmus (you know, him with the feather), frontman Ola Salo leads his
camper-than-Christmas bandmates through a colossal set packed with
soaring, glamthemic rock. Lyrically, it has to be said, The Ark are a
bit daft, if not cheesy; spouting such nursery rhyme tosh as “let your
body decide where you want to go, high or low, fast or slow,” and at one
point letting off euphoric yelps of “Hallelujah!!” like a bunch of
bum-wiggling evangelists. But come on, taken with a pinch of salt, this
is fun!
Sadly, it’ll take a lot more seasoning for Juliet Lewis and her ‘Licks
to taste appealing tonight. Usually, our Jules’ has the ability to wrap
herself in sex appeal and storm head-first through the likes of
tonight’s set-opener ‘Your Speaking My Language’ like a little tornado
of sharp and crispy rock ‘n’ roll. Tonight however, the diminutive
temptress looks knackered. Alright, she gives it her best shot, throwing
shapes and making with the obligatory headbanging, however it all seems
a bit too forced, a bit too much like going through the motions. A shame
then really, since Juliet & The Licks are normally fairly decent.
However, anyone tempted to fall asleep after such a drab performance is
quickly aroused from their slump by the site on the video screens of The
Darkness cruising into the venue in a helicopter.
The tension mounts. The 20,000 of us that were previously scattered
throughout the venue now pack together like the proverbial tin of
sardines, all revelling in our aforementioned sweaty anticipation. The
lights go down, a mighty roar goes up, and The Darkness, all tight riffs
and even tighter spandex, arrive on the scene in a way only they can.
Following bumpy flight around the audience to the opening track
‘Knockers’, head boy Justin returns to the stage. Channelling the spirit
of Freddie Mercury, his trademark showmanship immediately becomes the
focal point around which brother Dan (guitar) drummer Ed Graham and
newly appointed bassist Richie Graham build their massive wall of rock.
Indeed, everything about this show is huge. Thunderous riffs and
lightning-bolt solos crash and slam around an elaborate stage-set
complete with a fully functional grand organ and colossal spikes that
shoot flames high into the air any time anything remotely interesting
happens. Heck, even Justin’s gut has gotten bigger on this tour!
Yet above all the pyrotechnics, theatrics and flamboyance, there are, of
course, the songs. Bloody big songs at that. Songs that climb to Everest
like proportions and swoop down on the enlivened crowd and clutch them
in their mighty Flying-V shaped talons. Songs so over-the-top, grandiose
and great that it becomes easy to find yourself lost in what is
quintessentially the ultimate rock ‘n’ roll show. Songs, like classics
“I Believe in a Thing Called Love” and “Love Is Only a Feeling,” or the
stomping, rocking “Bald” (from new album “One Way Ticket to Hell….And
Back”) that threaten to reduce the MEN to mush.
Indeed, it may just be that everything rock ‘n’ roll has tried to
achieve over the past thirty years, The Darkness do in just one night.
With everything turned up to eleven and delivered in an abundance of
rock theatrics, The Darkness show every other band out there exactly how
it should be done. Rock on!
Recommended Link:
www.thedarknessrock.com
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