They conquered the underground with their classic 1998 self-titled album. They penetrated the mainstream in 2001 with the phenomenal “Toxicity”; then, rather unexpectedly, metal mentalists System of a Down slowly became one of the most important bands in the world, an accolade which means that on their new two part album, “Mezmerize/Hypnotize” they can do pretty much whatever they like and get away with it.

They can, but as part one of this epic, “Mezmerize” goes to show, they most definitely shouldn’t. Whilst the band’s previous releases have been pretty much of a group effort, this latest release, hyped as one of the biggest albums of 2005, is solely the work of guitarist Darron Malakian, who apparently grew bored of simply larking around in the background adding the occasional backing vocal, and decided to turn “Mezmerize” into a thoroughly underwhelming experience. True, Darron is an amazing guitar player and a gifted songwriter, but  -If I may be so frank – whoever gave him permission to tackle lead vocals deserves a right good slap!

Regular front man Serj Tankian, a man often described as the new Mike Patton, is more than capable of using his impressive vocal range like a finely tuned instrument in much the same way as the aforementioned “Faith No More” legend, so why on earth spoil anything by letting Malakian wail like a five year old girl with a bad cough all over the place? Proof of Malakian’s damage first comes on lead single “B.Y.O.B” where thrash metal gets into a bit of a fisticuffs with some good old pop music in a clichéd rant about politics. “Why don’t presidents fight the war? Why do they always send the poor?”  sings Serj whilst Darron sounds like he’s about to vomit as he belches something about living in a fascist nation.

And when they’re not being clichéd, they’re being totally nonsensical. “Still you feed us lies from the tablecloth.” Now, we have a tablecloth at home, and I can honestly say it’s the most honest, non-lie-feeding household item I’ve ever met. Yet it’s not all bad news, “B.Y.O.B” (Bring Your Own Bomb) plays host to the catchiest, most upbeat, get-down-and-shake-your-funky-stuff chorus to ever be included in a metal song. “Everybody’s goin’ to the party, have a real good time, dancin’ in the desert, blowin’ up the sunshine,” go on, give it a listen, and if you don’t start dancing on the spot, I’ll eat a tablecloth or something.

Without question, B.Y.O.B is the best track on the album.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t say much for the rest of it. More mad-as-toast chanting comes on “Revenga” and “Cigaro”, two tracks that, whilst not exactly terrible seem, to have been thrown together haphazardly rather than lovingly crafted in the name of art as System’ would have you believe. Thank god then for “Radio/Video”, a song that has “Single” written all-over it and picks up where “B.Y.O.B” left off in terms of jaunty pop melodies, dance floor vibes and unoriginal lyrics. It’s not the best song in the world, but on an album that seems to have abandoned proper songs altogether, the Serj and Darron screaming “Hey man, look at me rockin’ out I’m on the radio!”  come as somewhat of a relief, a bit like taking one of those awful-tasting paracetamols after a hard night out. It’s not that I have anything against experimental music on the whole (Check me out and my uber-cool, pretentiously obscure tastes, I own a “Mr. Bungle” album!), it’s just that on this album, the band (Completed by bassist Shavo Odadjian and drummer John Dolmayan) seem to be trying a little too hard to experiment with eclectic art-metal whilst at the same time maintain their mainstream success.  On the whole, it does not work. And the so the album continues.

“Violent Pornography” makes no sense whatsoever, yet is weird enough to please the purists and catchy enough to become another single, “Question!” plays out like tedious trek through an enchanted forest and “Sad Statue” returns to the “B.Y.O.B” template, more random drivel with another amazing sing-a-long chorus about a rather depressed Statue of Liberty. “Old School Hollywood”, the penultimate track on the album is totally different from anything you could ever expect from System of a Down.  Imagine Europe’s “It’s The Final Countdown” getting the life beaten out of it by a tired and worn out Nine Inch Nails, and you’re on the right lines. This then leads into the final track, “Lost in Hollywood”, which like most of it’s predecessors, is nothing to write home about. It’s a shame really, since “Mezmerize” is not a bad album.  Indeed, with so many catchy choruses that will no doubt be stuck in your head all day, and plenty of decently crafted guitar riffs, it’s not bad at all, just utterly disappointing.  From a band like System of a Down, you’d expect so much more. 

So perhaps it’s worth a little reminder that this is not a System of a Down album, it’s the sound of self-indulgent twaddle from guitarist Darron Malakian, who, in future, should stick to what he does best and lark around in the background.

Recommended Links: www.systemofadown.com

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